Making friends

Hi!

I'm back!

I have relocated from Qatar to Thailand. Now that I am (quite) settled in, I think I can start blogging again.

And since I moved, I am having a challenging time making friends. 

Making friends should be natural and not forced. I am the type of person who is civil to everyone. I am no Ms. Congeniality but I'm also not Ms. Snob. Working in a hospitality business for 11 years, you have that "Smile Face On" every time you meet someone. 

I always look for someone that I'll have a special connection. Meeting a lot of people from different background, different culture and different social status, I have "profiled" the people that I would like to be friends with.

I look for meaningful conversation. Something that I can share my thoughts and learn from. I hate gossiping because I don't want people to talk about me behind my back. Though it is inevitable, at least, I try not to be same as them.

I try to shy away from negative people, because I know negativity will affect your view about life. I have met people who complain about everything. I came to a point that I started complaining about small things. Then I realized that the people I hang out with are poisoning me. That is not healthy. So I started to gradually remove myself from that situation.

I have friends who live in gossiping and I don't want to even participate on those stuff. They were bad mouthing a person that is close to me even though they have not spent an ample time to know the person. When they asked me about my opinion, I blatantly said "She's good to me. She has not done anything to hurt or offend me. So I have nothing bad to say." With that, they stopped talking about my friend.

I have different friends from different group but I always have tiny but trusted number of friends. I am not the type of person who likes to be in a large group. If I do, I will have 1 or 2 people that I will bond and share special connection.

Thinking back, I have always had 2 close friends from elementary to high school. College is a different thing. I have always thought that I am weird for being quiet. Later in life, I realize that I am an introvert forcing myself to be an extrovert.

Currently, I have one close friend that I share my thoughts and tries to encourage me to be better.

I know I don't need to force myself in making friends. I just want someone who enjoys drinking coffee while reading a book with me.

I want a meaningful connection.

What do you look for a friend? Please share your thoughts. :)

xoxo,
Katey

I thought you were my last

Dear Ex,

How are you? I hope everything is okay with you. How's work? I hope you find a better company. I know that yours are not treating their staff fairly.

So... why did I even write you a letter? Well... I know you don't care but I would like to tell you that I am doing fine. Work is a bit challenging. But you know me, I love challenges. :) Probably that's the reason why we became an item.

Remember when I used to bully you? You hated me but you also liked me at the same time. My honesty is a little brutal, I know. My mouth is faster than my brain.

How about the time when I "forced" you to drink coffee? That was fun! I didn't know you'd get a stomachache when you drink coffee. But hey! You grew out of it. We always have our coffee date every week since then.

I don't like singing. I think I have an awful voice but you made me sing. And you love listening to my singing voice.

I don't like to cook. But you love my adobo... more than your Mama's cooking. Which is a compliment coz your Mama is a good cook.

Probably I miss what we had, but I don't miss the fights. When every simple conversation turns into a misunderstanding. When we hurt each other with words that we can never take back. Well... I started missing you when you changed. When every little thing I do or say irritates you. That's when you started comparing me to her. 

Yes, I miss you but not romantically. I have passed that stage. I miss the friendship, the laughter, the series marathon, the midnight snacks, and our people watching.

Remember the last time we had our coffee and I cried because I asked "What happened to us?".

I also want to say I'm sorry if I hurt you when I chose my happiness. But I don't need to apologize for choosing my happiness. So I'll just say, I'm sorry for the times that I have hurt you.

Thank you for the years of being together. It was indeed a roller coaster of emotion. We had our highs which I will keep. And we had our lows which I will treasure. Thank you for introducing me to your family whom I love dearly. They have accepted me as their own and for that I am grateful.

Please believe me when I say, I am truly happy now that you have a girlfriend. I wish you all the best and will always include you in my nightly prayer. God sent you to me on my lowest, when I started doubting myself. Things may not have turned out the way we wanted them to be. But I know our purpose for each other has reached its finish line.

So... just take care of yourself and please behave, okay?

Your Ex

Relationship rules

I noticed that there's always something about number three in a relationship.

3 days

Who invented the rule that a guy should call a girl 3 days after their meeting?

I used to believe that this "rule" should be followed until I met someone who called up after 15 days. I laughed at him when he said that he purposely stopped himself from calling me a day after we were introduced to each other. I asked him why he didn't call me after 3 days. He said he planned to call me but he needed time to gain more courage to even add me to Facebook.

So you see... Some people need more time to muster up courage to approach a person especially if they really like them. At first, I was confused because I was expecting a call or something but it didn't happened. After 3 days, it didn't bother me anymore and I moved on until that day that I received a friend request in Facebook after 15 days. It was a sweet surprise actually. So girls, don't be dishearten if a guy doesn't call you. Either he needed more time or he doesn't like you. In short, no expectations.

3 dates

I'm guilty on this one. There was this person that I really like. After our first date, we clicked right away. But since I don't want to rush things and I religiously follow the "3 date" rule, I let my chance passed. We actually dated 5 times. After that, we stopped. He thought that I didn't like him and I thought he doesn't like me. Funny huh? Sometimes, you need to be more open and honest. Things may not turn out the way you expect it to be but least you tried. Rejection is part of life any way.

3 months

This goes both in dating and break-up.

Dating

Again, guilty as charged. But somehow, I still believe that 3-month is a period to test the relationship. I know it's early to say that the relationship will last after 3 months of dating but it is a good start. Sometimes these 3 months will show a glimpse of where the relationship is heading to. But hey, I can be wrong. 

Break-up

If you're Filipino, you probably watched "One more chance" by John Lloyd and Bea. This movie invented the 3-month rule that you can date only after 3 months from break-up. In reality, people deal with break up differently. Some people need a month to move on and some people take years. 

But if you think about it, this rule became famous because it gives the aggrieved party to sulk. If I am the dumpee, I don't want to see the love of my life happy with another person. This rule is all about respect.

3rd wheel

This last "three" doesn't involve only "third party" but also other people who try to enter in your relationship. They maybe your parents, siblings, friends or even social media! 

Most relationships fail when someone tries to meddle with the relationship. I believe that relationship is between the couple. It doesn't hurt if you ask for some advice from people close to you but if you let these people decide for you then it will affect the relationship.

I am not saying that above relationship rules are false or true but isn't funny how we follow these rules blindly because we thought it is the right thing to do. 

Do you know other relationship rule that I have not mention that you would like to share? Please share it, I'm curious. :)

Xoxo,

Katey

My Sister's Wedding

Hi Loves,

Last February 7, my sister married her prince. The experience is so heart warming. 

Just wanna share some photos of the wedding and reception.

Invitation was made by Artistic Chic. Scribbles: by Bride

The Bride

The Groom

Wedding rings

Maid of Honor, Mother of the Bride, Bride, Bridesmaid, (Father of the Bride - locket necklace)

with the Officiating Priest

Welcome to the family

New Mrs. Macahia

MOH, Mr. & Mrs Macahia, Best Man

Principal Sponsors

Bridesmaids and Groomsmen

Secondary Sponsors (Candle, Veil and Cord)

Flower girls, Ring/Bible/Coin bearers

Mommy giving her advice to the newly wed couple

I love how my sister looks and listens to my Mom.

All the single ladies!

The Lucky One

The Bachelors

Surprise dance number of the Groom

There's so much more photos to share. It was a night filled with love and laughter.

Marvin, welcome to our family. I know that you will take care of our precious Princess.

xoxo,
Katey

How to make your relationship work

I wouldn't consider myself a love or relationship guru but I think I had a diverse relationship that helped me provide some valuable input in making a relationship last.

I can compare finding a (lifetime) partner to hailing a cab. If you are lucky enough, you have an available cab pass by your street. Most of the time, you need to wait for a cab to come along. And sadly enough, some needs to fight over a cab. On how the ride will turn out to be, that’s the responsibility of the driver and the passenger.

So what do you need to make your journey as a couple work, and hopefully, last.

Set and know each other’s expectations

More often than not, we enter a relationship without knowing what’s in store for us. We love the element of surprise. I was one until a partner asked me “What are your expectations in this relationship?” I was taken off guard. Once I regain my composure, I was able to think straight. Knowing what you want in a relationship and in your partner is essential. You and your partner will have a clear picture of what you want to have and what you are capable of giving and receiving.

Communicate

Communication is vital in a relationship. When I say “Communicate”, it doesn’t mean communicate only when your partner upsets you. Yes, you should be open with your emotion especially if you feel offended or hurt. But more than that, sharing important things with your partner is a good bonding moment.

Share about your work, or a new hobby of yours. It may be mundane to you but maybe it is interesting to your partner.

Do things together

Like communication, doing things together will make your relationship stronger and more fun. Why not start a hobby together. Learn a new language and practice it with each other. Read a book and share what you think of a certain chapter. Do the laundry together or wash the dishes while your partner wipes it dry.  Come to think of it, relationship is a team effort.

Me time

In as much that you want to spend every waking day with each other, you need some “Me time”. Me time doesn't mean alone time. Me time can mean a visit to your mom, a movie date with your sisters or a coffee date with your girlfriends. Me time also applies to your partner: A boy’s night out, a basketball game with his high school/college friends or a drinking session with his dad and brothers.

Having me time will energize and rejuvenate your individuality. Before you enter this relationship, you have a life of your own. So why stop living?

Learn each other’s interest

In point 3, I suggested to do things together that both of you enjoy. But how about learning something new? Learn your partner’s passion. It may be her passion for skincare or his passion for comics, her passion for art or his passion for sports.  You don’t need to love their interest but at least know a few things about it. Start with reading an article or two. Maybe watch him during his basketball game with his friends or accompany her in her visit to museum. Perhaps, you will discover that her or his interest is appealing and fascinating.

Support each other
You're not in a relationship to compete with each other. Be each other's cheerleader. Your partner will come to you to share their problem with their work, friends or family. Just be there when things get tough.

If they share something that they are passionate about, listen and give advice if asked. Be enthusiastic and be an active listener. If things are unclear to you, ask them questions instead of being negative about it. 

Also, celebrate their success. To celebrate their happiness and triumph shows that you are proud of them. Every partner wants to make their partner proud. 

Respect each other’s privacy

In this day and age, we are so attach to social media and technology that we want to know our partner’s whereabouts and password to her or his mobile, email and social media account. I actually don’t want my privacy invaded. There is a reason why you have a password in your email, it is personal. Regardless if you are in a relationship, it doesn't give you the right to access your partner’s mobile, email or social media. However, I applaud those who give their password freely and openly. I had a partner who gave his password to his email and social media. I didn't open it. Not unless he asks me to check an email he expects or asks me to send an email on his behalf. He gave it to me freely but I still respect his privacy. Not giving your partner an access to your account doesn't mean that you are hiding something but it means you want to keep your privacy. And if you are really faithful to each other, you will not do anything that will hurt the relationship.

Compose and Compromise

Don’t expect a relationship to be all bright and dandy. Relationship is like a roller coaster ride. 

Discussion and misunderstanding is normal. When you reach that part of relationship when you get to each other’s nerve: stop and breathe. Get a grip of yourself until you can think clearly. You don’t need to push your ideals to your partner and same with them. Meet half way and compromise. But once you compromise, don’t blame each other if things didn't work out. Compromise doesn't mean that you let go of your ideals and belief but it means that you are open to change and you value your relationship more than your ego.

Apologize

Saying sorry is so easy to say nowadays that you question its authenticity. When you say sorry, you need to mean it and know why and what you are sorry for. Some people say sorry just to end the argument. And some say it not knowing why they need to say sorry. When your partner apologize, you need to ask them if they know what made you upset. You will be surprise to hear “I don’t know.” If your partner is honest enough to admit their shortcoming by not knowing what they did to upset you, you need to reciprocate their honesty. Discuss what hurt you and why. This will spare both of you of future misunderstanding.

But not all apologies are accepted, so don’t feel dishearten when things didn't go back to normal. Just be patient and make sure you don’t do the same mistake.

Forgive

This is connected to point 9. We know that forgiving is not easy especially when you really are hurt. But forgiving is also a choice. If you choose to forgive your partner, you are ready to start anew. You are ready to let go and move on. The common mistake in forgiving is, forgiving too easily. In doing so, you are not prepared to accept the mistake of your partner and you end up being paranoid. You remind your partner about the mistake and both of you end up hurting each other more.

Spirituality/Belief

No matter what your belief - God, Allah, Higher being or science, it is important that you share this with your partner.

I can only speak for myself as a Catholic. I am lucky to have no issue with my religion with my partner. What I like about my relationship is that, I was able to reconnect with my Creator. I love that we pray together (via Skype) before we sleep and attend mass (as much as possible) every Sunday.

Religion shouldn't be an issue as most religion share the same belief which is to love and respect one another.

I purposely did not include Staying in love, be patient, be understanding and have trust. I believe that these 4 things are fundamental in a relationship. I wanted to share extra pointers that I believe will help make a relationship work and last.

Any relationship pointers you have that you want to share?

Love to hear it from you.

Xoxo,

Katey

Laters Jenny

Hi Hunny Bunnies,

Last February 1, my sister had her Bridal Shower. Yup, my younger sister is getting married. We wanted to keep it wholesome but a little kinky so we decided to have "50 Shades of Grey" theme. 

How timely because same month, Christian Grey will grace the big screen and well... Jenny read all 50 shades trilogy.

We had the Bridal Shower in Pink Me Up. Same venue when we celebrated my Mom's birthday last November 2013.

Hope you enjoy the photos.

The invite

Souvenir and the only kinky part of the celebration

Sash for the Tres Marias

Miss Grey's neckties

Miss to Mrs set up

Katte, Joy, Me, Oneng

Joy, Kathy, Andy, Anne

after getting our souvenir

What big bulge you have there Mister?!

Handcuff necklace for souvenir

MOH, Bride and Bridesmaid

The smile says it all.

The invitation and the set up was prepared by Kathy.

Kinky cake was a gift from the rest of the girls.

We were pampered that day and we had so much fun.

Have you attended a bridal shower/hen night/bachelorette party before? Would love to hear your experience.

Laters Baby.

Joy's Bunny-licious Birthday

Hi!

How's 2015 treating you? In the first quarter of 2015, I dealt with some heartache but that deserve a separate post.

This post is a happy entry because I will be sharing with you our bunso's birthday celebration.

We decided to celebrate Joy's birthday at The Bunny Baker. The Bunny Baker is located in E. Rodrigues Sr. The place is so adorable. You can find more about the restaurant from their FB page, The Bunny Baker.

Here's the birthday girl.

Joy approved!

Too many options to choose from!

Posing before eating

Pasta for Mom

Enjoying her meal.

Spam fries

Mom, Joy, Jen and Marvin

Kawaii bunny macarons

enjoying her dessert

I had a chance to video call Joy to greet her a Happy birthday. Being away from my family, I miss a lot of important occasion like birthdays.

I need to crop my swollen face from the picture

Japan Japan pose with Kuya Lmo.

 Dear Bunso,

Ate loves you so much. Thank you for always bringing happiness in our family kahit minsan pasaway ka na. I love how you perform your funny sexy dance to me via video call. Bawas bawasan ang kakikayan... hahaha!!! My only wish for you is to live longer to meet your pamangkins from me and Ate Jenny. So your pamangkins will know how great of an Aunt you will be. Loving, caring and gentle.

I love you Bjojoy. Sorry Bjate is not there to celebrate it with you.

Shopping for new cloths after dinner

Happy birthday again and miss you already.

Love,

Bjate